Funerals are sedate somber occasions, but did you know that many people often get their funeral attire wrong? As you probably guessed it, we’ve got you covered for your proper funeral attire. This time, we’ll focus on things that you really shouldn’t wear to a funeral.

What Should You Never Wear To A Funeral

1. Anything Contrary To The Wishes Of The Host

Funerals are for the benefit of the bereft to remember the deceased on their terms. It is entirely possible, therefore, for the deceased, their families, or whoever hosts the funeral to have particular plans that are outside the traditional sartorial funeral conventions.

Some people don’t want dark clothing or suits worn at funerals because they want to project a happier, more carefree mood. So, if you are invited to a funeral that specifically requests a particular type of dress—whether that attire is a full funeral morning dress or Hawaiian shirts—respect the wishes of the hosts even if that means breaking traditional funeral attire norms.

Funeral dress codes are intended to show that you respect the seriousness of the event and are respectful of the passing of the deceased, but if you are asked to show respect by adopting a different way of dressing, do so if you plan to attend. After all, it’s their funeral.

2. Overly Casual Clothing

Unless you’ve been specifically instructed to wear them, there are just some items that are too casual to be worn at funerals. The formality typical of funerals conveys respect for the occasion and for the departed; dressing in clothing with insufficient formality will indicate the risk that you be perceived as not taking the occasion seriously.

What kind of clothing do we mean? Light wash jeans, open-toed shoes like sandals or flip-flops, T-shirts, sneakers, and athletic apparel, including joggers, jerseys, and sweatshirts; and leisure attire like pajamas and sport shirts.

Does wearing a dark suit versus a pair of pajama bottoms mean that your grief is any more or less genuine? No, but you aren’t the only guest at a funeral, and to be respectful, you should be cognizant of the wishes, feelings, and perceptions of others. If for no other reason than that excessively casual attire can be distracting at a funeral.

3. Distracting Attire

Unless you are a member of the deceased immediate family, a close friend, or involved in the proceedings, the funeral is not primarily about you, so don’t do anything that draws undue attention to yourself; instead, wear simple, respectful outfits that suit the sedate occasion. Even if a frock coat or tail coat was typical for society and funerals during the Golden Age of Menswear, wearing one today might risk overshadowing the purpose of the funeral, especially if no one else is wearing one.

4. Rarely Worn, Ill-Fitting, And Excessively Funeral Attire

Extremely dark, drab, depressingly black attire is usually associated with funerals. Because of traditional memorial practices, they prescribed the prominent wearing of black to indicate that the wearer was in mourning.

While historically, men might be in mourning for weeks, months, or even years, today, public mourning has a shorter duration, so a collection of black attire is no longer as critical. The fact of the matter is, because black is the most overrated color in menswear, it may not make sense for you to invest money and closet space for an all-black, mourning ensemble, especially if you only would wear it to funerals.

A black suit and black tie aren’t very versatile garments and can frankly be off-putting in their bleakness, and if you own clothes like these that you only wear at funerals, they are likely to appear flattened, stiff, and unnatural from storage. Instead, you can wear any dark suit with appropriately somber accessories to achieve the same effect as a black suit, all without sacrificing un-versatility.

A well-fitted, elegant dark navy suit will look more appealing at a funeral than a black suit that has been purpose-bought for that occasion, especially if it doesn’t fit and feels strange to you. If you own a comfortable, well-fitted black suit that you enjoy, obviously, you should feel free to wear it, but do not feel that you need to buy and wear a black suit all in order to attend a funeral.

5. Boldly Bright And Vibrant Colors

While extremely drab a tire is no longer mandatory for funerals, the perception of extremely bright, whimsical, or gaudy colors could lead others to think that you’re not taking the proceedings seriously.

Unless you are in a hot climate, light-colored blue, gray, tan, brown, or cream suits are commonly associated to garden parties, resorts, and the beach and are, therefore incongruous with a funeral setting. If you’re seen in such a suit, it could be assumed that you are disrespectful to the realities and expectations for your funeral.

Similarly, unexpected flashes of bright colors like white soles on dress sneakers, neon pink or green socks or pocket squares, and larger garments like shirts, dress pants, or jackets in loud colors are not typical of funerals, so wearing them could be perceived as mockery or an insult or will, at the very least, be distracting because it is so novel.

Content HereThis doesn’t mean that you have to attire yourself all in shades of gray. Utilizing the formality scale, you can craft sedate elegant outfits that fully convey your sense of respect without appearing drab or depressing. You can even add some bright or light colors as details within your outfit if you get the tone correct like muted warm pink, mustard yellow, and sky blue—although not as a major garment like your trousers or your jacket.

Being mindful of the colors appropriate to a funeral will ensure that your outfit doesn’t send the wrong message or distract others.

6. High-Contrast Combinations

Distractions can also be created by elements that might not be individually distracting but can become distracting in tandem with other pieces. A pair of white khakis, for instance, when worn with a dark gray blazer, creates a high-contrast look with two bulks of radically different colors. It’s more suited to a Mediterranean vacation than a funeral.

A gray suit in this color would be completely appropriate, as would khakis in a more neutral tone, but paired dramatically to create a contrasting effect, they’re simply too distracting and casual. In this video, I will show you how to create a variety of exceptional, combinational looks. But, for funerals, stick to colors in tones and shades to maintain a decorous, respectful look.

Be aware that even formally correct combinations that are loud or bold will also detract from the somber air of the occasion. Overly casual or obtrusive patterns, busy dress shirts, prominent jewelry, or whimsical elements are classic and fun ways to attract the eye on other occasions but aren’t appropriate for funerals.

As you aren’t there to be the center of attention, therefore, you should instead keep patterns small and simple or solid shirts in sedate colors, like white, cream, and blues, and avoid any fun or engaging accessories or designs. This could attract another’s attention.

Bold contrast looks are ideal for times when you want to craft a memorable outfit, but are not in keeping with the nature of a memorial service, which is about remembering someone else.

7. Branded Or Logoed Clothing

Increasingly, even dressy attire has become phoned logos and brands, but these displays have no place at a funeral. This issue is especially likely to come up if you wear a sweater, polo shirt, or more casual attire. It tends to have more prominent branding than suits and dress shirts with recognizable logos and slogans because they are, after all, examples of advertising, and they will usually distract and drag others out of a respectful contemplative mood.

You probably wouldn’t want a commercial played at your funeral, and that’s essentially what prominent branding is, so keep branded attire to a minimum or ideally avoid it completely.

Similarly, you should avoid any clothing that has written words, slogans, or phrases, unless they are a feature of the funeral. Slogans are rarely conducive to a respectful environment and the natural human inclination to read and consider the written word means that the writing could prove very distracting to others.

8. Uncomfortable Clothes Within Reason

Depending on the nature of the funeral that you are attending, you could potentially be making a multi-hour commitment between wakes, the funeral service, any graveside services; you could be taking part in several different celebrations of life in very different circumstances, settings, and climates.

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During these protracted events, you don’t want to be uncomfortable; it will take you out of the moment, and your fidgeting, adjusting, and shifting around could do the same to others and disturb them. But, your comfort must be balanced by the expected decorum of the occasion, so don’t default to inappropriate, super plush clothing.

Well-fitted and appropriately sized, a dress shoe can be as comfortable as a sneaker and even a full suit with seasonally correct fabric and weight can be as pleasing as a windbreaker—all while conveying a dignified air more suitable to a funeral.

To ensure comfort, avoid buying any new, substantive garments for the funeral and only wear items that are broken in that you know are comfortable. A funeral is not the place to test a new pair of leather shoes, so for your benefit and everyone else’s, plan out your ensemble to satisfy the expected decorum while also being as practical as possible.

9. Anything Precious, Like Fragile Or Sustainable Fabrics

When planning your outfit, take into account what you will be doing and how likely it is to stain or damage your clothes. For a funeral ceremony that takes place outside, like a graveside service, don’t wear velvet slippers that can’t touch dirt. You’re menacing around the grave site, obviously worried about stains. It’ll give the impression that you care more about the state of your shoes than the proceedings, which can be distracting and potentially insulting.

Simple, black dress shoes—these will look appropriate and are easy to clean, bringing you up to concentrate on the ceremony. If food is offered at a funeral, it is often served standing, buffet style. In this awkward eating position, stains are a distinct possibility, so keep that in mind if you’re planning to wear your cashmere trousers or silk white dress shirt.

We’re not saying that you cannot wear fine garments to funerals; we are saying that you should assume the possibility that they could become stained or damaged, and if this happens, you must be polite, understanding, and discreet. Without any fuss, excuse yourself if you able to do so and pretreat the stain in the bathroom. If you can’t leave, unobtrusively wipe up any excess stain with your pocket handkerchief and proceed with a funeral until you can be excused.

During the funeral, your clothes should be one of the last things on your mind, so don’t let them distract you or others by wearing items that you are terrified of dirtying or soiling. Funerals are special opportunities to remember those who have passed.

Conclusion

We hope that by warning you of what you should not wear to one, you will have one less thing to worry about during the time of grief.

Outfit Rundown

So, today, I’m wearing a light gray suit with brown dress shoes and a red-and-white striped dress shirt, along with Fort Belvedere socks, and wearing a Roberto Ugolini fragrance, 17 Rosso.

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